Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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