idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
