I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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