I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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