pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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