He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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