Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
