i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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