I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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