I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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