So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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