we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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