he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He shit in the fireplace
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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