one might say we're banned from that church
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
