Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
