This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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