You're completely useless in the revolution.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize