I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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