dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
