it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
