Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I just pynch a tree in the face

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(973): View more from New Jersey

too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.

(507): View more from Minnesota

she is a standing ovation.

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(813): View more from Florida

i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license

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(432): View more from Texas

He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"

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(256): View more from Alabama

Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.

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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men

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(315): View more from New York

Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years

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(256): View more from Alabama

I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.

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