I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
