I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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