when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
