remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
