did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
