i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
