I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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