woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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