her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
