would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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