Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
