So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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