We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
