I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
