Betty ford says i'm here all night
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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