nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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