Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
