I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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