so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize