What a fucking waste of an outfit
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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