so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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