This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
