i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
where are you?
Hypothermia
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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