I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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