Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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