we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
