I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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