New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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