Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
nut hugger
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
