Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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