I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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