when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
this boner is exhausting
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
