You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
