He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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