What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
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