help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
