every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
