normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
