So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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