Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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