sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
