And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Randomize
