why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He's a Shit stain on my heart
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
