So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
