how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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