Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
