when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
