I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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