So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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