omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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