It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
