woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
oh god was she eating orange peels again
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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