No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
