There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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