called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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